The Unsuccessful Love Cupcake
by Rointheta
Summary: The Doctor and Donna visit an amusement park when Donna accidentally eats a cupcake that is -supposed- to make her fall in love with the first person she sees. Friendship fic with mentions of Ten/Rose.


**Prompt**: Ten/Donna friendship fic based on the words amusement park, dawn, and flour.

unbeta'd, so I apologize for my grammar mistakes, typos and potential Swenglish. ;)

* * *

**THE UNSUCCESSFUL LOVE CUPCAKE**

* * *

Whooping with laughter, Donna and the Doctor tumbled out of the Mansion of Mirth, a funhouse located on the sixth best amusement park this side of the Grasshopper nebula. She leaned against him, panting for breath and fanning her face with her her hand.

"Blimey! Never laughed that hard in my life," she said through giggles. "At clowns! I don't even like clowns."

"Oh, it's built out of-out of a wood that's—" He blew out a sharp breath, calming down, and wiped his eyes. "Ahem. That house is built out of happywood."

"Happywood?"

"Yep. Makes things a little bit more fun! And-and don't bother," he said, holding up his hand and pulling a face. "Jack's already made every possible joke anyone could ever make."

She put her hands on her hips, levelling him with a steady glare. "You just took my to a house that drugged me?"

"Oh, it's not a drug. As such. Besides, the effect wears off a few seconds after you leave and there are no side effects. Well, unless you're a Chackchucktian. Which you're not. And you had fun, didn't you?"

"Hm…" She pursed her lips. "All right. This time. But if—"

"Pardon, miss," a young woman said, smiling and carrying a tray full of small cupcakes. "I'm from the Palace of Potent Pudding. May I offer you a sample?"

"Sample? It's free?"

"Of course! Go on, miss."

"Well, laughter burns calories, after all," Donna said, peering at the colourful assortment of frosted treats. "Suppose I could take one or two. Thank you!"

She nicked a pink, and an orange cupcake, breathing in the sugary scent with a hum before bringing the pink one to her mouth.

"Sorry," the Doctor said just as Donna closed her eyes and sank her teeth into her cupcake, "did you say the Palace of Potent Pudding?"

"Yes, sir. That's correct."

"Donna, no!"

The Doctor slapped the cupcake out of her hand and pried her mouth open, brushing out the crumbs still on her tongue.

"Oi!" She pushed him away, scowling at him. "What the hell d'you think you're doing, you barmy alien?"

"Did you swallow?"

"What?"

"Donna!" He grabbed her arms, boring his eyes into her. "Did. You. Swallow?"

"Just a little!"

"How little?"

"I don't know! Maybe half?"

"Oh, no. No-no-no. This is not good. This is-this is very, very bad." He shook his head, backing up and staring at her with round eyes. "Just what I need. Another one falling in love with me…"

"What? I'm not in love with you. How self-centered are you?"

"No, but you will be." He sighed, rubbing his jaw. "And there's no cure. Only time will make you—"

"What are you on about?"

"That cupcake — the pink one — it's made out of love flour. Harmless for most species. Will only make you feel a little giddy. Butterflies in your stomach, all that. Just for an hour or so. But for humans? One bite and you'll fall in love with the first person you see."

"But that was you!"

"Exactly."

She drew in a deep breath, shouting at him, "And there's no cure?"

"Nope. Or, well, there is. But it'll kill you."

"Then why the hell did you let me eat it? First you drug me and then you—"

"I didn't know! It was— And I saw— And the pink— And then I— D'you think I want you to fall in love with me? I don't!"

Donna narrowed her eyes, a growl rumbling low in her throat. "You're a bloody genius. Thickest man I've ever met, granted, but still a genius. You make me a bloody cure and you do it now."

"Donna, I—" He frowned. "Hold on. How do I look?" he asked, puffing up his chest and smiling.

"What? Stop preening, you bloody peacock. This is serious!"

"Don't you find me attractive?"

"No!"

He drew his brows together. "That's odd… Sorry," he said, turning to the cupcake woman, who watched them with an amused expression on her face, "was that cupcake made out of love flour?"

"Sure was, sir."

"But she's not falling in love with me. Look at her. She's practically fuming! Like a rhino preparing her attack. She's gonna throttle me any second!"

"Who are you calling rhino, you— Ooooh. Oh! It's not working!"

"This is very odd. Hm… Maybe you didn't eat enough."

The cupcake woman cleared her throat. "One bite is all it takes, sir."

"Maybe if we give it a couple of minutes…"

"The effect is instant, sir."

Donna grinned. "Oh, I like her."

"What about now?" he asked, slipping on his glasses. "Rose called these my 'sexy specs'."

"Sorry," Donna shook her head, "you're just that unattractive, Doctor. Not even a love cupcake can make me fancy you."

Muttering to himself, he removed his tie, unbuttoned the top buttons of his shirt and craned his neck. "How about now? Rose could never resist me when I showed off my neck. She would just push me into the nearest— Or, oh! My hair! She loved my hair," he said, carding a hand through his brown mop. "Is it working?"

"Oh, yeah. Maybe," Donna said, exchanging looks with the chuckling cupcake woman. "Do that thing again."

"What?" The Doctor ruffled his hair. "This?"

Donna barked out a laugh and he tucked his chin, pouting at her.

"I don't understand… You should be in love with me!"

"Yeah…" She patted the Doctor on the shoulder. "That's not gonna happen."

"The flour must've gone bad." He crouched down on the ground, pinched off a minuscule piece from the discarded cupcake and placed it on his tongue, humming and smacking. "Huh. It's fresh. Are you really not feeling anything?" he asked, standing up. "Not even a little?"

She gave him a pitying smile. "Sorry, Spaceman."

"But I'm so pretty this time around! Foxy, even." He turned to the cupcake woman. "Right?"

She shrugged and made a half-hearted noise in the back of her throat; the Doctor huffed out a breath, sniffing and buttoning his shirt.

"You must be immune, Donna. It's the only explanation."

"Sure, sure."

"I need to get back to work," the cupcake woman said, grinning, "but tell you what. Just 'cause you made laugh. Go to the Palace of Potent Pudding, tell the bloke at the counter that Dawn sent you, and you'll get more free samples, all right? Pick up a box of confidence cupcakes for your mate, yeah? Helps a bruised ego." She gave the disgruntled Doctor a onceover, then winked at Donna. "You should probably ask for a whole box. I think you'll need it."

"Thanks, Dawn," Donna said, waving the woman goodbye. "What d'you say, Doctor. Wanna pick up a box of those love cupcakes? I'll eat one and you can perform a little striptease. Just to make sure. I think I saw a stage over by the Ferris wheel."

He glared at her, putting his tie back on.

"No? I'm sure I'd fall arse over elbow for you if I only saw you in glittery pants and nipple tassels."

"Ha. Ha," he said, stalking off.

"You can smear yourself with body oil," she said, scurrying after him. "Thrust your hips a little. Or maybe we can pull out a bearskin rug, put it in front of the fireplace in the library, and you can pose on it?"

"Mhm."

"Or we can get some aliens to kidnap me, and you can swoop in and save me. How's that? That should do the trick, don't you reckon? Just unbutton your shirt all the way this time, Fabio."

He muttered something indiscernible under his breath and she looped her arm with his, softening her voice.

"Did I ever tell you that I used to go to all these fairs as a teenager and compete in pie contests?

"No. You did?"

"Yeah. I make the best banoffee pie in all of England — and I have the ribbons to prove it."

He perked up. "Really?"

"Mhm. I know we have a bunch of ripe bananas in the galley, and I really feel like baking today. Been too long, really. Yeah." She nodded. "I think I'm gonna head back to the TARDIS and bake a pie. Wanna join me?"

"Yeah." He smiled. "Sounds good."

* * *

**the end**


End file.
